How Not To Talk About Kids Online

A few nights ago as I was scrolling through my Facebook Newsfeed, another one caught my eye. Another meme/picture post describing some specific method for disciplining children. It may have been a chore chart, a way to handle grounded kids, or some other list of rules. Those things aren't bad things in and of themselves. Parents like to talk about their kids and parents like to share parenting ideas and resources. That's probably okay. But seeing that post brought to mind for me all the posts I've seen by parents about disciplining kids. From statements about "sparing the rod and spoiling the child" to more specific complaints about people's own children, I see way more information on Facebook about disciplining kids than I ever want to.

This post sparked a passionate conversation between my husband and I about why we will choose not to discuss our children's discipline on Facebook (or indeed in any public place, on the internet or otherwise). Here are a few of the reasons we discussed:

New Beginnings and Why I Love Moving

I must be one of the only people I know who actually kind of likes to move. We have moved twice so far in our married life, and we'll be moving about three times in the next two years. Sure, moving is a lot of work. I hate living out of boxes, and I have no idea how I will get all the packing and unpacking done with a baby around. But secretly, I look forward to moving. I daydream about packing boxes. Am I crazy? Yes, I admit that I probably am.

A Stay-At-Home Mom (With a Job)

I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I plan to be a stay-at-home mom. I think about myself as a stay-at-home mom. And I am one, most of the time. After our daughter was born, I took 11 weeks off work. I started doing some work from home after about 8 weeks - just a few hours here and there - and then returned to part-time work at the 11 week mark. Right now I work two afternoons per week in the office and an additional 5-8 hours from home as time allows and as my job dictates. I like to think of myself as a stay-at-home mom, even though technically I work between 13 and 17 hours each week.

Now, we have been very blessed in that we have not needed child care. Jonathan has been able to be home with our little girl on the afternoons when I am at work, which is great. They get quality time together, I don't have a single worry about her, and it is free. I am also blessed with a great job that is very flexible about my hours and supportive of me cutting back to care for my daughter. I realize that I have been very fortunate and that I could have had to make even tougher decisions about jobs and childcare.

To be honest, if I could afford to not work at all, I probably would choose that route.

Searching for "Home"

My little family celebrated Easter weekend by travelling to Michigan to visit our larger family and friends and to worship at our home church. I always love going back "home." I have wonderful family who I enjoy very much, great friends who always make time for me whenever I am able to be in town, and I love the way we come back to visit and it seems as though we never left in terms of relationships with those we are closest to.

With our Easter trip still fresh in my mind and Call Day fast approaching, I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be "home," where "home" really is, and the reality of this life we have chosen. Jonathan will find out a week from today where he will be serving for his vicarage (which is like a one-year internship as part of his four-year MDiv program), so we will find out in a week where we will be living the next year of our life, and it could be anywhere in the country! And then once he graduates from seminary in two years, we could be placed anywhere for his first call as a pastor. While all that is exciting, it is also pretty terrifying, especially for someone like me, who still longs to live near home and near family and friends.

Six Months of Joy

A week from tomorrow my baby girl turns 6 months old. Jonathan and I looked down at her feet the other day and were shocked by how big they were! I remember when she was born, if there was a fluff between her toes I couldn't do anything about it, because even my pinky finger couldn't fit between her tiny toes. But now I can easily clean out the fluffs. That may be a weird way to notice that your baby is growing up, but it really struck me when I realized that. She's going to be half a year old! It's not fair. She's growing into a child and out of a baby!

Now, at 6 months old, she is definitely still a baby. Which I remind myself when she chooses not to sleep through the night. But I am so afraid that she is going to grow up and leave and I will be baby-less! I simultaneously love watching her grow and hit milestones and dread it. It is just happening too fast! I need time to process. And time to cuddle. And time to enjoy her babyhood. But time goes as fast as it ever did, and she is going to keep growing. And I guess that's a good thing! 

These past six months have been tricky. The first few weeks and months with a newborn were very challenging, and although it has gotten easier and better, parenting is hard! It's hard work. It's long hours. It's late nights. But I have never been happier. Because through the challenges, there is the joy. Every day.