One Year Later - 6 Ways Having a Baby Changed My Life

A few days ago we celebrated my daughter's first birthday. I cannot believe the way this little girl has changed my life. She is so sweet, so smart, so beautiful. It is an honor and privilege to be her parent.

I look back over the past year, and it has flown by. There have been hard times, many sleepless nights, and so much to do! But the thing that stands out for me is the joy. The smiles, the cuddles, the laughter and delight watching my little girl learn, grow, and do new clever and funny things every day.

Being a parent really does change your life. In some ways (okay, a lot of ways) it makes things more challenging, but it also brings blessings, both expected and unexpected. All those things I have read and heard (think, those listicle Huffington Post articles) about how being a parent changes everything and makes your life harder have elements of truth in them, but they are not the whole picture.

I thought about some of the ways that having a baby changed my life, and here is what I have to say about a few big ones I hear parents mention a lot.

Setting Aside the Need for Perfection

Last week my daughter and I visited an apple orchard with a some friends. It was a beautiful day, we picked a bushel of apples, picnicked, chatted, and had a great time. Before we left I picked up some apple cider and fresh donuts to take home to Jonathan. When I got home my daughter was asleep in the back of the van. I didn't want to wake her, so I asked Jonathan to come out and sit in the car with me. There in the driveway we enjoyed some cider and donuts together. 

The cider was perfect - fresh, Michigan, unpasteurized, delicious. If you have never had cider straight from an orchard, you do not know what cider is. The donuts had been taken out of the oven just an hour earlier and complimented the cider perfectly. We sat there in the car with the cool air, the sunshine, and the colorful fall leaves all around us. It was a beautiful moment.  

It wasn't picture perfect... we were in the car. The diaper bag was in between us, open with things spilling out of it. Our lunch items and picnic blanket from the outing were laying around, and we shared my travel cup to drink the cider out of. It was a lovely moment together, but it certainly didn't look "Pinterest-worthy."

4 Reasons Not to Worry about Your Child's Future Spouse

Raising a little one, I think about her future a lot. Today she is just a little girl, working on the skills of standing, walking, and learning words. Before I know it, these years will be gone and she will be a young woman, an adult, working on learning a profession, balancing her own budget, and maybe dating and marrying a young man.

So often I hear parents, grandparents, and other concerned adults expressing concern over the future of our children. Fellow Christians seem to be the most concerned group, but everyone has these worries. How will they find "good spouses," or "good Christian spouses" when the world is such a bad place and "good" men or women are so hard to find? Well, I know for sure my daughter will never come across a "perfect man" because there aren't any. (Except Jesus, that is, and she already knows Him.) I do, however, believe that she will be just fine. After all, the world has been a "bad place" ever since the fall. I found a great husband, my parents found each other, my grandparents found each other, other family members have found wonderful spouses so far. Even if the world isn't getting better, it isn't getting worse either.

I'm not worried about my daughter finding a good, kind, Christ-following husband at all. Of all the things that I worry about, that isn't one of them. I understand that the world is a bad place. I know that there will be plenty of poor choices out there when she is ready to get married some day. But I believe that if she does marry, she will marry a good man. Here are a few of the reasons why I'm not worried:

Of Course My Baby Has Personality!

We were getting our pictures taken for a new church directory. I dressed the three of us in coordinating-but-not-matchy-matchy outfits, and we walked over to the church. My sweet daughter smiled and was friendly to the lady checking us in, and we had a pleasant chat while waiting for the photographer. Then we sat for our pictures, and of course, Little Girl gives the photographer a blank stare, mouth partially open as if to say, "What are you doing?" in all of the pictures. He tried to get her to laugh or smile, but she just looked more confused. We never got a picture with three people smiling. Oh well, no harm done. I wasn't planning on ordering any anyway, and she is adorable no matter what face she's making. 

As we prepared to leave the session the photographer commented, "Don't worry. She'll develop a personality eventually." I'm sure you can imagine my motherly indignation at that comment! 

A Tale of Four Octobers

October 2011

This is my last semester of real college classes. Next semester I student teach. I am focusing on senior seminar, classes, and helping my husband fill out seminary applications. And yet, although only a few people know this, all I can think about is having a baby. Each month the disappointment feels just a little stronger. Each month I spend part of that day that dashes all my hopes in tears.

We have been trying for almost six months now. It wasn't in the original plan to have a baby so soon, but the more we talk about it as a couple, the more convicted we are that using birth control is not right for us and is not trusting God with our future. And then somehow "not preventing" turned into "trying" and now we're approaching the six month mark and I'm beginning to worry.

Some of my friends and acquaintances who got married when we did are pregnant now. Most of them weren't even trying, which stings a little. We're young, and this is supposed to be easy. I've read the statistics that say that 80% of women my age get pregnant within the first six months of trying. 7-10% deal with infertility. The numbers are starting to look concerning as we hit that six month mark this month, but my husband isn't worried yet. I am determined to follow his lead and stay positive. It's going to happen any month now.