Birth Story Part 1: Unexpected Challenges

My son was born in July, and I am just now getting around to sharing his birth story. It wasn't what I had planned or what I wanted. His birth went well, he was healthy and I was healthy, but it still took me a while to come to terms with what happened in those crazy few weeks surrounding his birth.

I know I love a good birth story. There's nothing more magical than the moment a new little person enters the world and you get to meet him or her for the first time. But this little man's birth story starts a few weeks before the actual birth.

The pregnancy had been textbook, smooth, and even easier than my first pregnancy (except of course for the toddler I was wrangling and carrying everywhere). Our little man was due mid August, right after we were set to move out of our vicarage house. We had a great plan in place to have the baby while staying with my parents and then move back to St. Louis Labor Day weekend for our last year of seminary.

Things didn't go as planned...

The Church's One Foundation

If you know me well, you may know that I don't like to repeat, say, or sing things if I don't know what they mean. When I was little my mom sometimes would ask me to deliver a message to my dad for her. She would tell me exactly what to say, and I would ask her a bunch of questions trying to figure out what she meant, then I would go find my dad and tell him what I thought she wanted to say in my own words. It drove her crazy. But I just didn't like to say things unless I understood them. And I still don't.

I'm not a very sentimental person. I like things to have purpose and meaning. I never started singing my children lullabies because I was never sure exactly what the words were about, or what the point of singing them was. As adults we all know from experience that songs we have heard hundreds of times stay with us - stuck in our heads forever for better or worse. Before my daughter was born I remember thinking about what I would sing to her. I never really sang before having kids, and I didn't know many lullabies anyway, so I knew I would have to learn some songs. I figured if I was going to start singing to my babies, I should sing something that would benefit them to have in their minds.

My Favorite Time of Day

Funny, isn't it, how even though we love our children more than we can describe, even though we think they're so sweet, funny, clever and delightful, even though we look at them with such awe and wonder as they grow bigger and smarter each day, despite all that... Sometimes "nap time" is still our favorite time of day.

Maybe I don't speak for you, but that's where I am right now. I have a beautiful and smart little girl who is one of my all-time favorite people to be around and I have a cuddly, sweet baby boy who is so sweet and laid back and is starting to smile and interact with me more and more. They are my favorites and I love spending each day with them, but the peace and quiet of nap time is the time of day that I live for. Sometimes I just need an hour to myself.

Embracing Uncertainty

There is so much we can't know or anticipate about the future. We can always make plans, and as a planner, I always do. We can create lists, family goals for how many children we hope to have, financial goals for how much money we hope to make or save or spend on a house, career goals for what we want to do and where we want to live... Plans for how we will raise and educate our children. Plans for what parenting mistakes we will be sure never to make. Plans for where and how our next birth experience will go... The list goes on forever. We all like to plan, and we all like to feel control and autonomy over our future. But the more we plan, the more opportunities we have to learn about what happens when life doesn't go according to our plans.

Boy or Girl? Why We Love Finding Out

"I don't know how people wait to find out. I could never do that!"

"We wanted the birth to be extra special, and I wouldn't change the excitement of that moment in the delivery room for anything!"

"We wanted to be prepared, to paint the nursery and buy the right clothes."

"We didn't want to only get pink or blue gifts, and you never really know until the baby is born anyway. "

"There are so few real surprises left in life!"

"The surprise is the same whether it happens four months earlier or not!"

I think the reasons why some parents wait to find out and some parents want to know as soon as possible are really interesting. This is one area of parenting where I really think there is no right or wrong way to do it. From the reasons people give why they found out or didn't find out I am convinced that most of the time the underlying reason is the same.