It can be so difficult in our busy culture to make time for family. Unfortunately, even though it is the most important thing to many of us, it is the first thing to get cut from the schedule to make room for other seemingly more urgent things. Today I was reminded how few young people are growing up in homes where they eat dinner with their families on a regular basis. Family meal time was something that made a strong impression on me as a child and something that I plan to fiercely defend and prioritize now as a parent.
I remember our family dinners when I was growing up. They weren't always at the same time every night. Sometimes they would be scheduled around other activities, and occasionally it wouldn't happen, but my lasting memories are of a childhood where we all ate dinner as a family much more often than we didn't.
I remember my siblings and I helping Mom in the kitchen and setting the table, sometimes very willingly, other times somewhat reluctantly. She would have us make a salad or side dishes while she fixed the main course. Even at a really young age we would help set the table or mix pudding for dessert.
I remember the system we had in place for determining which of the kid's turn it was to pray before meals, so as to avoid a nightly debate. (Yes, we used to fight over who would get to pray each night before a neat system was introduced that ensured each of us got the same number of days.)
I remember Dad always asking, "So, what did you learn today?" and then listening as we each told him about what we had done in school and what was going on in our lives. When I had a test or big paper or project he would always ask me, "Did you ace it?" and he was always so proud of me when I told him how I had done.
I remember that frequently my aunt or uncle would stop over for dinner and I would end up listening to a lively can't-get-a-word-in-edgewise debate over the finer points of politics, science, photography, engineering, or some other topic. I remember that I always had a thought to share, and even though I was a kid, my thoughts were usually entertained (that is once I learned that you can't wait for a pause - you just have to jump in!).
I remember after dinner was over, sometimes we would practice giving the presentations we had prepared to give in our homeschool group for our dad, and he would tell us what he thought and act appropriately impressed at our hard work.
My dad was always busy, and frequently had to keep working even after he came home from work, but he never worked through dinner. He would always stop what he was doing, come to the table, and eat with his family.
Growing up I'm not saying that every meal we shared as a family was an exemplary bonding experience. It was real life, and real life is never perfect. I don't know that I really ever appreciated how important family dinners were when I was a kid, but I definitely appreciate them in retrospect. Just the act of prioritizing time with immediate family members made an impression on me and impacts who I am today.
Time is the most valuable currency we have. The more time we spend intentionally with our kids, the greater the impact we will have on them.
Now Jonathan and I do what we can to intentionally have dinner together as often as possible. We may not have dinner every night, but we do share at least one meal every day. That is some of the most precious time to me. The three of us, all together. It is relatively easy to do now, since I just work around his schedule. I know it will become more complicated as the years go on, but I believe it will always be worth making time for, even if that means saying "no" to other things.
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