Little Moments

It's the little moments that mean the most. Those short, quick, every-day moments when everything is beautiful and perfect. Sometimes I try to plan a perfect, beautiful family day, complete with a picnic in the park, a trip to the zoo, or some other special outing. And those can be great. But so often it's the moments that are unplanned that stick with me the most and remind me of how blessed I am to have the little family that I have.

I remember our first apartment and our first two years of marriage living in Wisconsin. It was a charming little town and we loved getting out and exploring it, but the most precious memories are sitting at our little table in our "dining room spot" with the sun streaming through the window, eating french toast, drinking coffee and just talking for hours.


I remember one or two nice dates we went on during those two years in Wisconsin, but my favorite memories are of us sitting on our living room floor eating freezer pizza and watching episode after episode of 24 or Battlestar Galactica together, just the two of us.

Do You Ever Wish You Were a More "Attached" or "Crunchier" Parent?

Sometimes I find myself wishing there was a parenting philosophy out there that I completely identified with. I know I am not alone in this, but for some reason, I love to label myself. I always want to know exactly where I fit, who I am like, and whose advice is going to most closely meld with my own way of thinking. There is a sense of comfort in knowing where you belong, in having others out there to identify with. It is natural to want to fit in with some group or another.

Everyone has different ones I'm sure, but for me, "attachment parenting" and "crunchy mama" are two examples of labels I have found myself wishing I could identify with more from time to time.

Let me pause and just define my understanding of those "labels."  Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that is gaining a lot of popularity. The three main components as far as I can tell are breastfeeding, baby wearing, and co-sleeping, and the main idea is that keeping your baby close to you helps you respond quickly and easily to your baby's needs. And as for being "crunchy," I think the idea is being natural, environmentally friendly, simple and down-to-earth in your lifestyle choices.

I feel like these identities are almost seen as status symbols sometimes - I know I am tempted to see them that way. I find myself thinking that I should cloth diaper or garden or wear my baby in a carrier, but secretly, on the inside, I don't want to do any of those things. I tried gardening and it was hard to stick with. I do want to be an attachment parent. I want to live a natural, simple life. I want to do what is healthiest for my family. But when I listen to the hard core attachment parents or crunchy mothers out there, I always feel like I don't quite belong. And yet I know I'm not "mainstream," right?

I continually need to remind myself of several things. I need to remind myself that -

Dads Are Not Second-String Parents (Or, How Great My Husband Is)

There seems to be an idea in society, (and I think mothers perpetuate it without meaning to sometimes), that moms are the first-string parent and dads are the back-up. I guess maybe it comes from the fact that moms are more likely to be the stay-at-home parent than dads are, although that isn't always the case. Or maybe it comes from the way dads are portrayed in sit coms and pop culture, as blundering fellows who have no clue what's going on. Or perhaps it just comes from the fact that moms and wives make mistakes, are sinful, and sometimes sit around and complain to each other about the inadequacies of their husbands. I don't know exactly where the negativity about fathers came from, but I'd like to stand up against it. In my life at least, it's just not true. 

Yes, I happen to be better at doing laundry than my husband. I am a better cook. I notice when things are messy and have a compulsive urge to clean them (this instant!) that he doesn't seem to posess. I like doing research, I interviewed the pediatrician, I figured out when to start our daughter on solids, and other decisions like that. But since when does any of that have anything to do with real, hands-on parenting? Okay, I also breastfeed. He can't do that. Fair enough. And my daughter does prefer me in the moments right after she hits her head on something. But other than that, my husband is an awesome dad. 

The Reverse To-Do List

Time goes so fast! It feels like it was just the other day that my now almost 7-month-old was a tiny, squishy newborn!

November 2013

April 2014

What happened?

Oh, those first three months... wow, were they crazy. I remember everyone would try to tell me, "It will get better" and I would push for specifics. "How will it get better?" "When will she sleep for 3 hours straight? For 4 hours straight? Through the night?" "Will I ever get anything else besides feeding and changing a baby done again?" "When did you start cooking again?" Whew!

A Simple Mother's Day

Yesterday was my first Mother's Day, and it was simple and perfect. Simply perfect.

Someone had breakfast in bed... but it wasn't me. I started my Sunday snuggling and feeding my baby girl in bed, and after getting ready for church, I even had about ten minutes to eat breakfast. For a Sunday morning, that was quite a treat! In the afternoon we went to the mall and I ran some errands and treated myself and Jonathan to one slice of Cheesecake Factory Godiva chocolate cheesecake. It was delicious.

When Did I Become an Attachment Parent?

Isn't she adorable? Isn't she precious? Of course she is! Sure, sometimes my little lady is exhausting. Sometimes she makes some significant messes. Sometimes I just want to hand her to my husband and have a few minutes to just sit. But even during these times, part of me always wants to be near her.

How Not To Talk About Kids Online

A few nights ago as I was scrolling through my Facebook Newsfeed, another one caught my eye. Another meme/picture post describing some specific method for disciplining children. It may have been a chore chart, a way to handle grounded kids, or some other list of rules. Those things aren't bad things in and of themselves. Parents like to talk about their kids and parents like to share parenting ideas and resources. That's probably okay. But seeing that post brought to mind for me all the posts I've seen by parents about disciplining kids. From statements about "sparing the rod and spoiling the child" to more specific complaints about people's own children, I see way more information on Facebook about disciplining kids than I ever want to.

This post sparked a passionate conversation between my husband and I about why we will choose not to discuss our children's discipline on Facebook (or indeed in any public place, on the internet or otherwise). Here are a few of the reasons we discussed:

New Beginnings and Why I Love Moving

I must be one of the only people I know who actually kind of likes to move. We have moved twice so far in our married life, and we'll be moving about three times in the next two years. Sure, moving is a lot of work. I hate living out of boxes, and I have no idea how I will get all the packing and unpacking done with a baby around. But secretly, I look forward to moving. I daydream about packing boxes. Am I crazy? Yes, I admit that I probably am.