Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Dads Are Not Second-String Parents (Or, How Great My Husband Is)

There seems to be an idea in society, (and I think mothers perpetuate it without meaning to sometimes), that moms are the first-string parent and dads are the back-up. I guess maybe it comes from the fact that moms are more likely to be the stay-at-home parent than dads are, although that isn't always the case. Or maybe it comes from the way dads are portrayed in sit coms and pop culture, as blundering fellows who have no clue what's going on. Or perhaps it just comes from the fact that moms and wives make mistakes, are sinful, and sometimes sit around and complain to each other about the inadequacies of their husbands. I don't know exactly where the negativity about fathers came from, but I'd like to stand up against it. In my life at least, it's just not true. 


Yes, I happen to be better at doing laundry than my husband. I am a better cook. I notice when things are messy and have a compulsive urge to clean them (this instant!) that he doesn't seem to posess. I like doing research, I interviewed the pediatrician, I figured out when to start our daughter on solids, and other decisions like that. But since when does any of that have anything to do with real, hands-on parenting? Okay, I also breastfeed. He can't do that. Fair enough. And my daughter does prefer me in the moments right after she hits her head on something. But other than that, my husband is an awesome dad. 


I find myself constantly watching my husband with my daughter and thinking, "Wow, I wish I was as good at parenting as he is!" He just makes it all look so fun and magical. Whenever he is taking care of our daughter or playing with her, her little face lights up and she acts like he is the most fun, amusing, wonderful person she has ever seen.

When Daddy picks up Baby Girl to take her from one room to another, she is never simply carried. She flies, like a spaceship, complete with swoopy, flying motions and sound effects. Every time. 

When she gets fussy, he puts her in "time-out in the sky", which consists of him holding her sitting on his head until she calms down (which she usually does instantly-she's goofy). 

If she's board, Daddy always knows what games to play to entertain her, or what silly sounds to make to distract her. 

Daddy has even taught her valuable life lessons, like how to pull a blanket off her head. (Thanks to this peak-a-boo game my husband and daughter have been playing daily for months, Little Girl can pull any blanket off her head, no matter how big, faster than you would expect. But you better be there to cheer and applaud her efforts when she is done, or she will be very disappointed.)

I love watching their chemistry - the excited, matching smiles on both of their faces when Daddy comes home after class or work. 

Daddy is even better than Mommy at a number of things, like feeding purees, for example. Daddy has much more patience with the whole process, and keeps her face a whole lot cleaner! 

During those sleepless nights where our little girl just won't sleep in her crib, her Daddy does the vast majority of the work in helping her go back to sleep. He is so sweet, both to me and to her, to take care of her in those late night pacing sessions.

My favorite part of the evening is watching my husband read the Bible to our daughter. And of that time, the moment most dear to my heart is listening to him pray with her afterward. Nothing could be sweeter or more significant than watching him invest in her and share his faith and his heart with her as he teaches her about God. I love watching the Holy Spirit work in both of their lives in that moment. 

So think about the great dads you know. Maybe it's your dad, or your husband, or someone else close to you. And take a moment to brag on them to the whole world, or just let them know privately how much they mean to you and to their children.

4 comments:

  1. What a sweet post! My husband is a huge help to me in the area of housework! He is always willing to help when I ask and even takes the initiative to do a few loads laundry without being asked first! I love watching his and my daughter's relationship develop!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS-I'm certain I would fail as a parent without him.

      Delete
    2. Awesome example, Stacey! Thanks for sharing. :) I am sure I couldn't do it without Jonathan either.

      Delete
  2. One of the great joys of being a grandma is watching your child parent their child. I'm a proud mom seeing how natural parenting seems to be for Jonathan. And, I'm a proud mom (in-law) seeing how much love and attention (to detail!) you give Christa to Charis and Jonathan! <3

    ReplyDelete