Scoliosis Story - Part 2: Surgery and Recovery

Part 1: Unanswered Prayers 

I was probably not a pleasant person to be around in the weeks and days leading up to surgery. I did my best to pretend it wasn't happening, but I also got sulky about it, if I remember correctly. I regularly kept a journal throughout my teenage years, but I intentionally didn't journal around the time of my surgery. I remember thinking, "This won't be something I want to remember." I don't remember all the details of that day, but I would not want to have been my parents. They were obviously making me do something I didn't want to do, and while they knew it was the right thing, I know it was hard for them too.

The lowest point for me was the moment right before I went back for surgery. In that moment I was so nervous, so scared. I kept repeating words to a specific song that I found comforting over and over in my head, willing that moment in time to pass. And it did pass. The next thing I knew I was waking up, and even though that moment was also a low one, from that point on things only got better. There was pain, but then there was the relief of that button that you can push and get pain meds. I wasn't comfortable, but I wasn't terrified either. Everyone was there for me, everything was over, I was alive. I was going to be fine.

And I was fine. I do remember being in the hospital, but I can't really remember any of my feelings or even what the pain felt like. I remember events, but mostly I just remember my parents and other family members caring for me. Going out of their way to bring me movies to watch, extra pillows, my CDs to listen to, whatever I wanted. And I don't remember ever being left alone in that hospital room - not for one minute. I know at the time I took that for granted, but looking back, I am overwhelmed by how much love I was shown.

That day I had been dreading had come and gone, and everything had gone wonderfully. After the surgery my surgeon said that she had been more successful than she thought was possible. She had been hoping to correct my double curve, which was 60 degrees to at least 30, but she was able to get it down to closer to 10 degrees. 10 degrees isn't even considered scoliosis.

I was able to resume dancing after about four months, and I worked hard to "catch up" as best I could. I was homeschooled, which made it simple to stay caught up with school, and the experience had no impact on any of my friendships or my social life.

Physically speaking, scoliosis and my back surgery have such an incredibly minor impact on my life today. I live a completely normal, healthy life. If there was no medical treatment for scoliosis that would not be the case - I would look different and would probably experience a lot of pain. Even though I thought God's healing would look miraculous and instant, it looked ordinary, like a surgery in a good hospital with a good surgeon. When God acts, it doesn't always look the way we think it will. God did answer my prayers. He did heal me. He just didn't do it in the way I wanted at the time.

God got me through this particular life experience in ways that I never expected, and he used my family and friends to get me through it. It wasn't what I thought I wanted, and it was something negative that happened to me, but looking back with ten years of perspective, I'm glad that it happened. I don't regret any of it.

Part 3: Feeling Loved