The Difference a Year Makes

A year ago today I saw my little girl's heartbeat for the first time on an ultrasound. I was 6 weeks 5 days along in my pregnancy, which means Little Girl was not even 5 weeks old. I can't believe the difference a year makes!

I still remember how nervous and excited I was at that ultrasound. I was hoping that I would get to see that little flickering heart beating, but I didn't know for sure. I hadn't had much in the way of symptoms, and I confess I worried a lot. But as soon as there was an image on the screen I saw that heart beating away. It was magical. 

It is so incredible to think that over the past year that little tiny flickering speck inside me has grown into this beautiful 4 month old baby girl with so much personality! What a blessing, and what a testament to God's goodness and design! Every time our daughter does something new and we see how fast she is learning about her world and growing in her abilities it is awe-inspiring to realize that just a short time ago she was still inside me. 

As I watch her grow it becomes more and more apparent to me that so much of her personality and who she is she already has, and I am just discovering it as time goes on and she learns how to express herself. I look at the picture of my daughter from a year ago and think wow, there was so much I didn't know about her then! I didn't know a year ago that she was a girl. I didn't know a year ago that she was going to have dark hair, or that she was going to have blue eyes, or that she would look so much like her dad. Some people believe that a mere four weeks after conception she wasn't a person yet, that she was just an option, a choice that I could make either way. But all of those things were still a part of who she was at that point in time, and I just had yet to discover them. 

Just like today I look at my 4 month old, and I know a lot about her. I watch the way she plays with her toys, the way she interacts with us, the way she only likes to be held upright and never cradled, for example, and I realize that while I know her so much better than I did a year ago, I will know her even better a year from now. I know that today she has dark hair, blue eyes, and looks like her dad, but that could change a year from now. I know that in a year I will probably have a clearer idea of her personality. I feel like I catch glimpses of who she is now, and I can't believe how much better I feel I know her with each passing month, and I am excited to learn more about who she is with each passing year. 

But you know what I do know about a year from now? I know that she will still be my daughter, that she will still be a person, and that she will be dearly loved by God. If I look back over the past year of my life, I know that a year ago today this little one was also my daughter, was also a person, and was also loved by God. A year will mark no difference or change in her "personhood" between now and 2015, and it made no difference between a year ago and today.

I challenge anyone to experience pregnancy, childbirth, and get to know their baby, and be able to point to a line, a point where a person becomes a person. I was already pro-life before having a baby, but afterwards it is absolutely plain as day to me that my little girl who I hold in my arms today was still the same  PERSON that I saw on that ultrasound a year ago. 

The past year, while it has been one of the most challenging years of my life, has also been the very best. There is no joy like welcoming a baby into the world and getting to watch her grow from conception to birth and beyond. I love watching my little girl grow and learn so much! God has been very good to me indeed and I praise him for the difference this past year has made in my life!