Raising Children Without Clutter

I have always been drawn to big, open, clean and simply decorated spaces. I have a strong dislike for knick knacks. If something hasn't been used in a few months I start to daydream about getting rid of it. I don't want to own any kitchen gadgets that have only one special, rare use. I like basics, things that I can use regularly and that can be used for everyday tasks.

Although we have been married for almost five years now, I haven't gotten to really decorate a home yet. We have moved three times already and will move two more times in the next year and a half. That combined with renting means that I live wherever I am placed happily without painting a single wall or buying any new furniture. Our interior design style is currently, "eclectic free stuff that still functions" and we are happy with that for now. So while I don't know what color palette I prefer to decorate in or what furniture style is "me", I do know that my signature design preference is "less is more."

Loving simplicity and open clean spaces typically doesn't mesh well with having kids. Anyone who has children knows that they come with a lot of stuff. And not pretty stuff. Bright, primary colored, loud, plastic, many-tiny-pieces toys, endless stacks of board books, and lots of other useful and necessary essentials like diapers, lotions, soaps, blankets, sippy cups, bibs, and the like. It just goes on and on!


This may sound very, very silly, but one of my biggest fears when I was expecting my daughter was that I would feel claustrophobic with all of the new things that were entering my little apartment. Of course I loved buying her clothes, getting her things ready, and seeing the telltale signs that a baby was coming start to accumulate in my home. Now she's a toddler and she does have a toy area in the living room and a big pile of books by the couch. I recognize that these things are useful and important to her and that by playing with her toys she's learning and growing. But of course I still have my own claustrophobic issues with clutter, so I do what I can to balance my desire for tidiness with my daughter's age and developmental stage.

Here are some of the ways that I manage to live with a little one while striving to live with less:

1. Be intentional about toys

I intentionally try to have toys that foster imagination and creative play. Toys that have functions that are not electronic or that can be played with in a variety of ways keep my daughter interested longer and are better for her anyway. Therefore, if I have a select number of really good toys, I don't need to have as many to keep her busy. 

I also try to have toys around that I find to be attractive and not obnoxious. I love wooden toys, musical instrument toys, anything that isn't plastic. We do have some great plastic toys too, but they are my least favorite and will be the first to go when my daughter loses interest in them.

2. Relax during the day; tidy at night. 

I keep the number of toys in the living room low, to the point where I can do a quick tidy in the evening that takes less than  three minutes. I allow her to play as she will during the day, and I don't feel that claustrophobic stress because I know that I can tidy up in just a few moments when the time comes. I try to be an easy-going parent, and having fewer toys around helps me to allow my daughter to play and have fun without feeling anxious about clutter levels.

I also allow her to play with or handle any everyday household item that isn't either extremely fragile or dangerous to her. Because I don't have knick knacks and because I try to hide away dangerous things, this means she can get into most things that are at her level. I love watching her imitate how I use things and explore her surroundings, and this also makes it easier to have fewer toys. Of course, I frequently need to tidy up after her, but I do tend to let things go in the moment and tidy later.

3. Plan to get rid of things. 

I told myself that I would keep everything I was given through the first child and then see what we really needed or really used and pare down baby paraphernalia before we had a second. Now that we are expecting again, I have a mental checklist of baby gear that we didn't use enough to justify owning and I plan am excited to let those things go. 

I also am giving myself permission to get rid of books or toys that I have discovered may subliminally teach things that I don't want my children taught.

4. Limit or eliminate toys and books that sell other things to my child. 

I have so many books for my daughter, most of them beautiful and well loved by both her and me. I am glad that I didn't get rid of any books before reading them to her because many of the ones I thought were boring or dumb delight my daughter in ways I didn't expect. But now that she is getting good older, I can see that a few books need to go because they don't fit my "less is more" philosophy. 

One example is a variety of books with different characters from movies and TV in them. The books themselves are fine, and before my daughter knew about movies and characters I was happy to read them to her. But now she knows and recognizes a few characters, and I can see it is time to get rid of any books that may tempt her to ask for or want to watch movies or TV shows that we wouldn't want her to see.  (We are highly selective about movies, shows, and media that we expose our children to. Even many classic and popular Disney movies will likely find themselves on our do not watch list, but that is a subject for another day!)

This may sound overly strict, but I want to save my children the frustration of asking for things I know I won't give them. Therefore if possible we will avoid books and toys that market other books or toys, or that foster a "collect them all" mindset.

5. Avoid modeling materialistic behavior 

This is perhaps the most important piece of this delicate business of living with less. It is so easy to want things we don't have, or to make possessions out to be more important than they are. If kids have parents who always are after the "newest, latest, greatest" things, then of course they will want those things as well. Being content with what you have and teaching kids to care for and respect possessions, but also realize that things arei just things has to be a huge part of this. We do this by using our resources wisely, being willing to not upgrade our phones every two years, wearing our clothes until they wear out, and putting people before possessions by not getting angry or overly upset if something gets broken or ruined.


I read a study recently about the correlation between clutter and stress levels. I resonated strongly with what I read, as I know that I am a more stressed and unpleasant person when my home is cluttered. My husband also is happier in a tidy home. So I hope to raise my kids with less not because I am mean or hate things or because my comfort is more important than their fun, but because I want them to be raised in a home with happy, relaxed parents and I want them to grow up with a healthy view of the role of physical possessions.

Yes, just like all (or most) other parents, my house is frequently messy. No, I do not have this all figured out. Living simply with kids can feel like a daunting proposition, and it is not something I have mastered, but something I work towards. I do believe it is possible though, and I know that it is worth doing.