Through the Eyes of a Toddler

Dedicated to my own sweet toddler

When I was a baby I got everything I wanted. When I was hungry I cried, and my mother took me and fed me. When I was tired I cried my little tired cry, and someone who loved me would cuddle me to sleep. When I was feeling uncomfortable I cried, and one of my parents would give me a fresh diaper. And then I would feel hungry again, and all I had to do was ask.

Now I have discovered that I want more things than to eat, sleep, and be comfortable! The world is full of many things to explore, and I am very interested in conducting my investigations. Grown ups are always hurrying around, moving things from place to place, doing things that they think are very important. When I try to interrupt because I can see that what they're doing is not as important as they think it is they resist my suggestions that they do something else instead. And  yet when I am doing my own important tasks of emptying containers, rearranging things, or trying to straighten out the electrical cords the grown ups often insist that I stop.

I still love to eat, and my parents still feed me when I'm hungry but I have discovered there are many different kinds of food, some of which taste much better than others, and sometimes I don't get the kind I want. I try crying, which used to work, but it seems to grow less effective as time goes on.

Sometimes Mommy sits down at her computer. I hate this, because I know that she will be hard to distract when she's working at her computer. Plus, she never lets me help her. So I cry, to let her know this isn't okay... And sometimes she stops, but sometimes, she tells me to play with my toys by myself! When I was a baby this wouldn't have happened.

Sometimes other people have things that I want. I have tried taking these things, but the grown ups say no, that I can't do that. But if I cry, no one gives me the thing, so that doesn't work either. It's almost as if my parents have changed the rules on me! I used to get everything I wanted by crying or asking, but all of a sudden there are things that I want that I cannot have. I don't like that. It doesn't make sense and it isn't fun.

There seem to be all these rules and conventions, and while as a baby I got away with breaking them, now I'm finding that I'm supposed to follow them. But they don't all make sense, and sometimes I think they're bad rules. But no one asked me what I thought of them... I could try to learn and follow these hard, no fun rules... But maybe I should try crying one more time, just in case. It just used to work so well!

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Toddlers are little people with big emotions and a limited vocabulary for expressing their feelings. Their lives are changing at a rapid pace, and they have control over very few things. When I am having big feelings, I like to have them validated and to be understood. It can be hard to be patient with little ones who take up so much energy to care for, but listening to them express their feelings now, (even about things that seem small, like why they can't eat 10 cookies, is a step towards raising kids who will feel comfortable coming to you with their feelings later.

I strive to create an environment for my daughter where her world is as predictable as possible and makes as much sense as possible. And within that, if I can let her explore or get into something without her hurting herself or valuable property, I do it, even if it is inconvenient for me to have to put all of the Tupperware back or reload the dishwasher after she's rearranged the dishes. And when I do have to say no, I try to be consistent and kind, redirecting her to something similar that will be a "yes." However hard it is to parent toddlers, being one must be just as difficult.