The Church's One Foundation

If you know me well, you may know that I don't like to repeat, say, or sing things if I don't know what they mean. When I was little my mom sometimes would ask me to deliver a message to my dad for her. She would tell me exactly what to say, and I would ask her a bunch of questions trying to figure out what she meant, then I would go find my dad and tell him what I thought she wanted to say in my own words. It drove her crazy. But I just didn't like to say things unless I understood them. And I still don't.

I'm not a very sentimental person. I like things to have purpose and meaning. I never started singing my children lullabies because I was never sure exactly what the words were about, or what the point of singing them was. As adults we all know from experience that songs we have heard hundreds of times stay with us - stuck in our heads forever for better or worse. Before my daughter was born I remember thinking about what I would sing to her. I never really sang before having kids, and I didn't know many lullabies anyway, so I knew I would have to learn some songs. I figured if I was going to start singing to my babies, I should sing something that would benefit them to have in their minds.

When We Regret Our Words

I am not a perfect person.

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all say things we regret from time to time, or sometimes more often than that. And yet, I find myself almost always more willing to accept that other people aren't perfect than that I am not perfect. My own failings bother me so much more than the same failings would bother me in someone else.

My entire life, I have been a very talkative person. I talk a lot, I say a lot of things, and I all too often say exactly what I'm thinking with minimal filtering. And unfortunately, what I'm thinking is not always nice. Sometimes what feels even worse is saying only a part of what I'm thinking in the most blunt way, only to realize later that I may have hurt someone I care about's feelings or been misunderstood in a way that I do not intend to be.

For some reason, it is very hard for me to let go of moments where I wish I had said something differently or not said anything at all. There are still conversations I had with friends in 3rd grade that I remember word-for-word, because I hurt someone's feelings and I regretted it.