Treasuring the Child Instead of the Childhood

If you've had young children then you know what it is like to feel invisible. You've been in the grocery store when a stranger comes up to your baby or toddler and strikes up a conversation with them, completely ignoring you. After a few moments they look up awkwardly, see you there  and either politely smile and walk away or ask how old your child is, because they need something to say...

Scoliosis Story - Part 3: Feeling Loved

Part 1 - Unanswered Prayers
Part 2 - Surgery and Recovery

I thought I wouldn't want to remember anything about my experience with scoliosis or my surgery, but today when I think back on that time, I always remember it fondly. I never expected that would be the case, but 10 years later I am incredibly grateful for this particular experience.


I do remember that I was in pain, I do remember being embarrassed, I remember not being able to do things I wanted to do. But I don't remember how any of that felt. I don't ever re-live those negative aspects. What I do remember was the way everyone in my life at the time cared for me. What I do remember makes me feel so very loved.

Scoliosis Story - Part 2: Surgery and Recovery

Part 1: Unanswered Prayers 

I was probably not a pleasant person to be around in the weeks and days leading up to surgery. I did my best to pretend it wasn't happening, but I also got sulky about it, if I remember correctly. I regularly kept a journal throughout my teenage years, but I intentionally didn't journal around the time of my surgery. I remember thinking, "This won't be something I want to remember." I don't remember all the details of that day, but I would not want to have been my parents. They were obviously making me do something I didn't want to do, and while they knew it was the right thing, I know it was hard for them too.

Making Time for Family Dinner

Everyone is so busy these days. Families busy with balancing work schedules, kids with sports and other extra-curricular activities, church nights, play dates... there is always something between us and that elusive "family time." I don't think anything is more precious to me these days than family time with my husband and daughter. I love spending time with each of them individually, and as a stay-at-home-mom I spend lots of time with my little girl, but there's something absolutely priceless about all three of us doing something together. I love seeing the way the two people I love the most show their love for each other.

It can be so difficult in our busy culture to make time for family. Unfortunately, even though it is the most important thing to many of us, it is the first thing to get cut from the schedule to make room for other seemingly more urgent things. Today I was reminded how few young people are growing up in homes where they eat dinner with their families on a regular basis. Family meal time was something that made a strong impression on me as a child and something that I plan to fiercely defend and prioritize now as a parent.

Fall Projects - Baby's First Birthday Cake

I may be a stay-at-home mom, but that does not mean that I love to cook. There is a reason I don't blog about food. I certainly can cook, and sometimes I do enjoy it. But while some people cook or bake because they love cooking or baking, I cook and bake because I love eating.

So I make my own food because I want it to be healthy, I want to know exactly what's in it, and because homemade food just tastes better than non-homemade food. I don't live to be in the kitchen. I avoid it whenever possible. But if I decide that I need cookies, pie, or a nice, healthy meal, I make it myself from scratch, just because that's what I want to eat.

As my daughter's first birthday approached, I started thinking about her smash cake. I honestly don't know what I think about the custom of doing a smash cake. It seems odd to celebrate a kid making a mess and overdosing on sugar just because they're turning one. But at the same time, I understand the desire to do something special for your little one, and sweet food is definitely special when you're a baby and your mother has never given you more than one or two bites of dessert! So I decided to just go with the tradition and do something special for my little one-year-old.

Fall Projects - Daddy Vader and Baby Leia

One of the reasons I have been blogging less often these past few weeks has been that I have been busy with several fall projects. From apple picking and making pies, to throwing first birthday parties, to working on costumes for our Halloween-related celebrations, there has been a lot going on! I don't have a passion for sewing, baking, or making costumes, but I think I do these things anyway simply because I like to be in control. I like to do things the fast way sometimes, and I am usually more concerned with relaxing and having fun with my family than pulling off the perfect costume or making flawless cakes and pies. I don't typically blog about crafts and projects, but I thought I would make an exception this fall and share some of the things I have been working on. It's not going to be Pinterest-perfect, but it is going to be "real" (and hopefully fun)!

So for the first post in a short series of fall projects posts, here is a peak into the costumes I made for my family this year.

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Dressing up as Star Wars characters for our church's Trunk or Treat this fall was my husband's idea. He wanted to be Darth Vader, and then when the idea of dressing our daughter up as Princess Leia occurred to us we thought that would be the most adorable thing ever! 

An iconic father-daughter pair! But then the challenge started. I don't buy Halloween costumes, in part because I usually don't like the way they're made and feel, but in a much larger part because I'm cheap and I don't want to pay for something we're only going to use once. I confess I allowed myself to stress unnecessarily over these costumes, and with the busy week or two we had before the event, I ended up doing my sewing late at night, which is not the best time for me to work! 

4 Truths after 4 Years of Marriage

My husband and I celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary this week. I thank God every day for my husband and the wonderful marriage we have enjoyed. I feel like when you are newlyweds, society forbids you from giving marriage advice. After all, you're still in the "honeymoon phase" and life hasn't "gotten real" yet. Well, I certainly know what they mean when they refer to the "honeymoon phase." When we got married we were idealistic, didn't believe that we would ever fight, and thought our relationship was "easy."

I have waited patiently to be far enough along in marriage to be "allowed" to give marriage advice, and I'm not sure if four years gives me that right or not. But in the past four years my husband and I have moved three times, both had surgery, dealt with infertility, gone through pregnancy and birth, made it through the "newborn phase" of our firstborn, and parented for almost ten months. So I am finally ready to share a couple words of marriage advice, some things I've learned over the past four years. But honestly, if you had asked me about these things four years ago, I would probably have said the same thing.

1. Be idealistic. 

Engaged couples and newlyweds are notoriously idealistic, and most marriage counselors and well-meaning friends take it upon themselves to dash all their misconceptions by telling them that "it won't always be easy." "Sometimes you'll hate each other." "Marriage is hard work, but worth it." and other similar sentiments. I say, let newlyweds be idealistic! Self-fulfilling prophecy is a real thing, so put it to use for you!

When I'm Hard to Live With {Transparent Tuesday}

Today I'm joining Mel at Our Growing Roots for Transparent Tuesday, a link-up where we can take the opportunity to cast aside the filters we use to depict our lives as always being perfect. My family is in the midst of moving this week, and I think the chaos and stress that goes on during a move is a great example of life's imperfections. So here it is - a transparent, honest look at what moving week is like in our family.

I encourage you to follow this button back to Mel's blog and check out the other posts for the week!

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Just two days from now we will be on the road, moving from our seminary apartment back to Michigan, our home state. We are excited for the next year, thrilled to have the opportunity to live near family and friends, and we cannot wait to meet our new vicarage congregation. There is so much to look forward to, but at the same time, the weeks surrounding a big move can be very stressful and bring out the worst in us.

Shortly after we found out where we would be spending the next year I wrote a post about why I love moving. I do love moving... theoretically, and I don't take back what I wrote in that post, but practically, being in the midst of moving week is much messier than that. I love moving because it gives me the opportunity to simplify my life, to give in to my organized, labeling, obsessive self, and to get rid of things that I don't want or use. But sometimes it feels like moving just creates chaos, messes, stress, and tension in the home.

Faith and Family Series - Jonathan's Family

After a couple Mondays off, I would like to return to the Faith and Family series for a special edition post! I have always wanted to feature my husband as a guest-poster and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so. As the spiritual head of our family, what he has to say on this topic is very important to me, and I am excited to be able to introduce my husband, Jonathan, first-hand to my readers.

Also, today is his birthday, so what more fitting way to say "happy birthday" than to give him the floor and let him share about our family?

When We Regret Our Words

I am not a perfect person.

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all say things we regret from time to time, or sometimes more often than that. And yet, I find myself almost always more willing to accept that other people aren't perfect than that I am not perfect. My own failings bother me so much more than the same failings would bother me in someone else.

My entire life, I have been a very talkative person. I talk a lot, I say a lot of things, and I all too often say exactly what I'm thinking with minimal filtering. And unfortunately, what I'm thinking is not always nice. Sometimes what feels even worse is saying only a part of what I'm thinking in the most blunt way, only to realize later that I may have hurt someone I care about's feelings or been misunderstood in a way that I do not intend to be.

For some reason, it is very hard for me to let go of moments where I wish I had said something differently or not said anything at all. There are still conversations I had with friends in 3rd grade that I remember word-for-word, because I hurt someone's feelings and I regretted it.

Faith and Family Series - Jennifer's Family

For my third post in the Faith and Family series I would like to introduce you to Jennifer. Jennifer was my next-door-neighbor for the past year, and it was such a joy get to know her and her beautiful family. Her kids are funny and sweet, and I had many fascinating conversations with them outside our apartment building over the past year. I am very grateful to Jennifer for taking the time to do this, even while she was in the middle of a big move and transition for her family.

Let's go to the questions!

The "Easy Phase"... Parents of Newborns, It Does Exist

"It gets better."

I heard that so much those first few months of caring for a newborn. I hoped that it would be true. At one point I think my mother told me that January was the month when it would start to get better (Baby Girl turned 3 months old in January). Somewhere along the line I latched onto that promise. There were some nights when I felt like I hadn't slept at all where I would sit there holding my baby counting down the weeks until January. Those first few months are so overwhelming. You feel like you can't get anything done. You feel like your baby will never sleep on her own. You feel like every minute of your baby's life they need your attention.

Those first few months are also so incredibly special, even though they are hard. If you are lucky, you don't have to work for much of that time, and you do get to spend so much of your day holding your baby. Having a baby changes everything about your life, how you view your family, how you view the world. It is truly a blessing and an amazing experience. By no means would I give up those first few months, no matter how hard they were! But that doesn't mean they were any easier just because they were also wonderful.

Faith and Family Series - Kimberly's Family

My second post in the Faith and Family series features my cousin, Kim. She lives with her husband and kids in Texas, and although I don't see her often, I love keeping up with her beautiful family on Facebook. Her passion for her faith and her kids is contagious, as I'm sure you will be able to tell!

Let's jump into the questions!

Todd, Mark, Kate and Richard - A Story of Four Cars

On Tuesday evening we did something very exciting, something we'd been talking about doing for months now - we bought a minivan! He is a 2005 silver Dodge Grand Caravan and his name is Richard. (Yes, we are the type of people who name our cars.) When I look back over the past and think about my husband's and my experience with owning cars, all I can think about is how incredibly blessed we are and how God always provides in wonderful ways.

Between the two of us, we haven't had to buy a car since Jonathan bought his first clunker back in high school before we started dating. His first car was a 1994 Chevy Cavalier named Todd. There are so many funny stories about Todd, but really, the value in that car wasn't the vehicle, but the experiences. Jonathan spent so many days working on the car with his friends and we have so many funny stories and precious memories of learning experiences related to his first adventure and lesson in exactly how not to purchase a car. So many jokes made at that poor car's expense. So many good laughs. 

Faith and Family Series - Melissande's Family

For the first post in my Faith and Family series, I am excited to introduce my friend Melissande. She has a beautiful family with four great kids and blogs at Growing Roots. I love reading her posts - they are always beautifully written, positive and insightful, and I'm very excited to have her participate in this series!

I asked a series of questions about how Melissande and her husband, Greg, integrate their faith into their family life. I really enjoyed hearing what she had to say!

Faith and Family Guest Interview Series

 "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." ~ Deuteronomy 6:6-7

When you sit at home, when you're out and about, before bed, in the morning... all the time. This is how often we are to talk and think about God and his Word. Wow! That's a tall order, and one that I know I can constantly improve upon.

The context of Deuteronomy 6 is that God is giving the Law to his people, the Israelites. He is instructing them that the Law is good, that it is valuable, and that it is something that they are to pass down to their children and their children's children. As Christians living every day in the light of the resurrection, we are blessed to be able to share those truths with our children. As a parent, I want more than anything for my daughter to know Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and have the Holy Spirit working faith in her heart. As Paul says, 

"For faith comes by hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." ~ Romans 10:17

Little Moments

It's the little moments that mean the most. Those short, quick, every-day moments when everything is beautiful and perfect. Sometimes I try to plan a perfect, beautiful family day, complete with a picnic in the park, a trip to the zoo, or some other special outing. And those can be great. But so often it's the moments that are unplanned that stick with me the most and remind me of how blessed I am to have the little family that I have.

I remember our first apartment and our first two years of marriage living in Wisconsin. It was a charming little town and we loved getting out and exploring it, but the most precious memories are sitting at our little table in our "dining room spot" with the sun streaming through the window, eating french toast, drinking coffee and just talking for hours.


I remember one or two nice dates we went on during those two years in Wisconsin, but my favorite memories are of us sitting on our living room floor eating freezer pizza and watching episode after episode of 24 or Battlestar Galactica together, just the two of us.

Dads Are Not Second-String Parents (Or, How Great My Husband Is)

There seems to be an idea in society, (and I think mothers perpetuate it without meaning to sometimes), that moms are the first-string parent and dads are the back-up. I guess maybe it comes from the fact that moms are more likely to be the stay-at-home parent than dads are, although that isn't always the case. Or maybe it comes from the way dads are portrayed in sit coms and pop culture, as blundering fellows who have no clue what's going on. Or perhaps it just comes from the fact that moms and wives make mistakes, are sinful, and sometimes sit around and complain to each other about the inadequacies of their husbands. I don't know exactly where the negativity about fathers came from, but I'd like to stand up against it. In my life at least, it's just not true. 

Yes, I happen to be better at doing laundry than my husband. I am a better cook. I notice when things are messy and have a compulsive urge to clean them (this instant!) that he doesn't seem to posess. I like doing research, I interviewed the pediatrician, I figured out when to start our daughter on solids, and other decisions like that. But since when does any of that have anything to do with real, hands-on parenting? Okay, I also breastfeed. He can't do that. Fair enough. And my daughter does prefer me in the moments right after she hits her head on something. But other than that, my husband is an awesome dad. 

A Simple Mother's Day

Yesterday was my first Mother's Day, and it was simple and perfect. Simply perfect.

Someone had breakfast in bed... but it wasn't me. I started my Sunday snuggling and feeding my baby girl in bed, and after getting ready for church, I even had about ten minutes to eat breakfast. For a Sunday morning, that was quite a treat! In the afternoon we went to the mall and I ran some errands and treated myself and Jonathan to one slice of Cheesecake Factory Godiva chocolate cheesecake. It was delicious.

New Beginnings and Why I Love Moving

I must be one of the only people I know who actually kind of likes to move. We have moved twice so far in our married life, and we'll be moving about three times in the next two years. Sure, moving is a lot of work. I hate living out of boxes, and I have no idea how I will get all the packing and unpacking done with a baby around. But secretly, I look forward to moving. I daydream about packing boxes. Am I crazy? Yes, I admit that I probably am.