Don't Over-Think It: 7 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

One blessing of parenting so far for us has been the ease with which both my daughter and I have been able to breastfeed. Knowing that breastfeeding is a challenge for many women and babies, I feel so fortunate and thankful that it came naturally for us. I love the breastfeeding relationship I have with my daughter, the ease, simplicity, and affordability with which I can feed her, and the knowledge that what has turned into the simplest way to feed her is also providing great nutrition and health benefits. From a practical standpoint, breastfeeding can't be beat for our family. And from a personal standpoint, I love spending that time with my baby every day. As she gets older and is on the go much of the time, I appreciate that breastfeeding gives me an excuse to hold her and bond with her. I can see how easy it would be for those moments to slide away if I didn't have that built in cuddle time every day.

Before my daughter was born I worried non-stop that I would not be able to breastfeed. I heard so many stories about women who had difficulty producing milk or whose babies struggled to breastfeed properly. I spent a lot of time worrying about the what-ifs. But I was very fortunate that when the time came, I ran into no remarkable struggles. Looking back, I wish I had heard more positive stories that reassured me that for most women, breastfeeding comes naturally and works well. After breastfeeding for 10 months now, I thought I would share some encouraging and positive tips with new moms and mothers-to-be.

1. Don't Worry About Ounces

It is so easy to worry about how much your baby is eating and growing, especially in the first days and weeks! When many moms are feeding their babies formula or needing to pump for various reasons, everyone seems to be talking about baby feeding in ounces. I never thought much about how many ounces my baby was eating. I know I may be in the minority in that, but honestly it saved me a lot of stress. 

If your baby is going through the appropriate amount of wet and dirty diapers and gaining weight, then everything is fine. I nursed every time my baby was hungry, no matter what. I never counted ounces or worried about how much she was eating, and she was fine and I was fine. 

(I did eventually end up pumping on occasion so that I could work in the office for a few months, and to start off I just left more bottles than I knew she would need. After a few days I knew how much she was taking at the feeding I was gone for and then I would always leave one bottle plus an extra just in case. It worked out fine for us.)

2. Don't Use a Timer

For the first few weeks you do need to make sure your baby is eating every couple hours or so, but don't worry if they are eating more than that (and usually you don't need to worry if they're eating less than that). My petite little 6-pound baby ate at least 12 times a day for weeks and weeks, and sometimes those nursing sessions would last for an hour. I didn't do much else in those early days. I decided not to worry about it if she nursed for long stretches or more frequently than most babies. She was tiny, she felt that she needed it, and who was I to complain? (Honestly, nursing gave me a great excuse to sit still and do nothing, which considering how tired I was, was exactly what I wanted to do anyway.)

3. It Gets Easier After the First Few Weeks/Months

Those beginning days and weeks of breastfeeding are rough. You feel silly. You don't know what you're doing. Maybe your baby has difficulty learning to latch. Maybe you're sore. But it really doesn't last that long in the grand scheme of things. At the time it might be miserable and there might be no end in sight. But I can say, 10 months later, those first few weeks are a blur and I can hardly remember the difficulties I know I had. It is challenging for sure, but sticking with it is worth it. And everyone struggles at first. You are not alone. 

And then, even after it has gotten better, at some point everything will get a lot easier! For me it was around the 3 month mark. I no longer needed to wear nursing pads. I was no longer incredibly sore if my baby slept an extra hour. Things were just simple, easy, and breastfeeding actually felt convenient and natural! I have heard that it takes some women longer to get to this "easy point" but once you're there, you will be so glad you stuck with it!

4. Use Breastfeeding as a Comfort Measure

One of the reasons I am so grateful that breastfeeding worked out for me is that whenever my daughter falls down, is sad, or has to get a shot, I have the ability to instantly comfort and sooth her. It really is so easy to calm down a baby by breastfeeding in a moment of crisis. Now that my daughter is older, I don't usually have to resort to this anymore, but in those early months I was so grateful for this built-in comfort measure. 

In my experience, I never worried that I was causing my baby to eat for comfort or setting up bad habits. In the beginning I did nurse her to calm her down, but eventually she would stop crying as soon as she could see that I intended to feed her, and now usually all she needs is a hug and reassuring words. It is okay to comfort your baby by doing the things that makes them feel safest and most secure! Don't over-think it. 

5. Breastfeed in Public with Confidence

Use a cover if you need to, but if you don't need one to be modest, feel free to skip it. I usually use a cover, but occasionally I'm wearing the perfect top and I just don't need one. Eventually I gave in and even breastfed my daughter in church on occasion. At the time it felt like it was either that or never sit through another sermon again. And you know what? Nobody said anything or even seemed to notice! 

In my experience, if you don't make a big deal about it, nobody else will either. 

(Here are more of my experiences with breastfeeding in public.)

6. Realize that Things Change

Even if those around you know that you have no qualms about breastfeeding in public, a day may come where it just isn't possible anymore because your baby won't do it. Around 6 months or so my little girl started being too interested in her surroundings to focus on eating in a busy place. I used to be able to play cards, watch TV, or participate in whatever was going on while feeding her, but one day I realized that was not working anymore. I began to start excusing myself when my daughter was hungry, not because I felt it was modest, but because she just wouldn't eat otherwise. 

Another change that caught me by surprise was around 7 months when all of a sudden it only took her 7 minutes or less to eat! My little girl who used to nurse for an hour straight would just power-feed and then want to be off again. That took some getting used to. 

7. Take Advantage of the Snuggles

My sweet daughter is 10 months old now and still breastfeeds at least four times during the day and a few times at night. I let her. It really is the only time I know I'm going to get to hold and snuggle her, because these days she is constantly on-the-go. Honestly, she breastfeeds more than I thought she would at this point. Even though her eating habits may impact our plans for future children, at this point I am continuing to do what I have always done with her - breastfeed on demand, whenever she wants.

I love what breastfeeding has done for our relationship. It has been a wonderful blessing, and I cherish all the memories I have built up of holding and cuddling my little girl over the past year. 

I think my advice boils down to this simple principle - Don't over-think breastfeeding. Feed your baby when your baby is hungry and if your baby is being fed and is happy, you're doing it right. If your baby is not being fed, it's going to be okay! Formula exists for a reason, and so do knowledgeable people who can help you see if there is anything you can do before abandoning your desire to breastfeed. Don't feel ashamed - all moms want the same thing, and that is to feed their babies. It is amazing to me how complicated we have made what should be such a simple thing.

So this is my story. I breastfeed and love it. Even with the challenges of the early days, I cannot believe how easy it has been to feed my daughter. I do not take this blessing for granted. I know that for others it can be a great struggle. But I share my story and tips to encourage and build up.